Traits, Skills, and a Strong Back.

First of all, Happy Father’s Day to all of your dads. If you are involved in your kid’s lives (regardless of age), great job! If you are not involved, it is never too late. Society needs kids that have a positive father’s presence in their lives. I have two wonderful adult children who both are in college. I still do my best to be a positive role model to them, provide them guidance, and I am their biggest cheerleader! I love them dearly, and am very proud of them. Someday, I hope and pray that both of them are just a big of a pain in the butt to their kids as I have been to them. If they are, then I feel in some way that I have done my job well.

This weekend was an interesting Father’s Day weekend for me. In the past two days, my kids decided that this was the week for both of them to move apartments. I couldn’t help but think “really, both of you are going to move... the same weekend?!!” Needless to say, my wife and I have spent this weekend moving our kids. What a wonderful Father’s Day present: boy, am I tire sore!

You are probably thinking: where is he going with this? Well, this week I read about two different theories/approaches to leadership: the trait approach and the skills approach. Northouse discusses that the trait approach describes leadership traits that are inherent traits exhibited by great leaders, and that true leaders were born with the ability to exhibit them. The trait approach teaches us that there are core qualities defining true leadership, such as intelligence, self-confidence, determination, integrity, and sociability. By contrast, the skills approach emphasizes skills and abilities that can be learned and developed, such as problem-solving, social judgment, as well as other knowledge-based attributes. The skills approach also stresses the need for technical, personal, and conceptual skills as an important foundation for effective leadership.

Which theory do you think correctly addresses what makes up a true leader? My opinion is this: An effective leader will exhibit qualities of both theories. A leader, or anyone who successfully achieves the goals they set for themselves, will have aspects of trait leadership (intelligence, self-confidence, determination, integrity, and sociability). However, these successful people also have skill-based skills (as problem-solving, social judgment, perceptiveness, perspective, knowledge, general and crystalized cognitive abilities). The trait and skills approaches form a partnership. It takes determination and drive to gain knowledge and problem-solving skills; and it takes intelligence and confidence to develop cognitive abilities and perceptiveness towards one’s customers and employees. A true leader really must have qualities of one approach to possess the other.

How does this relate to my weekend? It takes trait leadership qualities to be a father. It takes perceptiveness, perspective, integrity, and determination to continue to coach and teach your children when they do not want to listen. It takes self-confidence to teach your kids how to be determined and persistent. It takes intelligence to know when to push, and when to back off and let them push themselves. Most of all, it takes love, patience, and faith.

…and a strong back!